Can you relate to this scenario? Guy (or girl) is hovering over the ad they just got from their favorite sporting goods retailer, looking at that [insert firearms/fishing/hunting/boating/off-road awesomeness here] that is at a price too good to believe, for an extremely limited time, in an extremely limited quantity. Our shopper, who may have had no idea five minutes ago that they were even in the market for [insert awesomeness], starts to break a sweat. Instinctively, the hand creeps toward the wallet/purse where the almighty credit card dwells… and–
“Whatcha doin’?” The voice of Significant Other breaks in on the scene like the Clap of Doom itself.
Spontaneous shopper looks up with a jolt. “Oh, hey there–sweetie. Just… looking at some… stuff.”
Eyebrows from Significant Other. Not my first rodeo look.
Shopper swallows the lump in his/her throat, as inconspicuously as possible. “Ya know, I’ve had my eye on one of these [awesomeness] for a while, and I have never seen one as inexpensive as…”
More eyebrows from Significant Other. Shopper licks his/her lips. Why is he/she always so difficult?
“I mean, this is a smokin’ deal. I don’t know when I’m gonna see another one like it.”
You know the story. It’s a matter of time before the rationalizing shopper and the eyebrows have it out, and in many cases, stress will be introduced to the relational equation. I’ve heard a lot of solutions to this age-old battle, including some dangerously unhealthy approaches, such as making large purchases without telling one’s spouse. I’m not against buying cool gear. I’m all for it, and my wife can vouch for me. How do we decide when it’s reasonable to pull the trigger (gun expression, +50 style points) on a particular purchase? Let’s talk about some good reasons to buy gear; maybe later we’ll talk about some not-so-good reasons to buy gear.
Good reasons to acquire a piece of gear.
- It fits the mission parameters.
I don’t even like to hear myself say this some times, but we need to decide if this is something that fits the “needs” category. That doesn’t necessarily mean your awesomeness is out of reach. It just has to fit into a plan. You can’t buy all the awesomeness out there. There’s too much of it, and only the government is allowed to print money to buy the things they can’t afford. You can try it, but you will go to prison.
Sometimes it helps to make a list of awesome that you would like to acquire, and then prioritize it based on factors like:
Will this benefit the whole family, or just me?
Will this enhance our safety or productivity?
Will this save us money in the long run? How much?
Which of these things is most important to me? Which can I wait on?
Sometimes a particular project or goal is waiting on a piece of equipment we have deferred buying for a while, because other things (maybe spontaneously) keep catching our attention and robbing the funding from our priority acquisition. When you’re tempted with one of these spur-of-the-minute shopper detours, remind yourself of how satisfying it will be to put that final piece in the puzzle of whatever pet project has been waiting.
2. It fits the mission priority.
I’m not just talking about our gear goals, here. There are some things in life that outweigh awesomeness. We are supposed to be looking out for the needs of people around us. Some of them we are even legally obligated to support, like our children. We have bills that need to be paid. Sometimes another awesome calls… like taking your kids out for ice cream, or taking your bride out to dinner–and it’s always nice to pay the babysitter. Do the right thing.
Let’s face it, nobody wants to be the dad who says, “Sorry, Timmy. Your back surgery will just have to wait. Daddy needs a new rifle, and Sportsperson’s House of Merchandise has an awesome sale right now!” Don’t miss the truth in the hyperbole. We’ve all been tempted to spend money that was needed elsewhere (or that we didn’t have to spend). We need to keep our priorities in line with reality. Our identity and value comes from the care we give others–even when it’s a sacrifice–not how much cool gear we collect before we die.
3. The mission has been de-conflicted.
When agencies plan an operation, they have to deconflict it before going ahead. That means ensuring that their operation isn’t going to throw a wrench into another agency’s operation. A lack of coordination can lead to complete disaster, as when a low-priority action “burns” a high-profile op that’s been heavily invested for months. At best, lots of work and money go to waste. At worst, operatives lives are put in danger. Deconfliction is vital.
It’s possible some of you will not like what I’m about to say. I’ll say it anyway. If you’re married, you should make a habit of deconflicting major purchases with your spouse. Relationships are more important than gear. (Lots of things are more important than gear, but we can talk about that later.) I can assure you, there is no piece of awesomeness money can buy that will provide you with more happiness than harmony in your marriage. If you’ve strayed down the road of seeking happiness in buying stuff, and dodging transparency with your spouse, then you may have given up on the whole harmony thing already. Let me encourage you: things don’t improve in relationships until we start looking at the ways we can change ourselves and our behavior. Maybe go out on a limb and try transparency. Finances are one of the major reasons couples seek divorce; making large or frequent purchases without agreeing with your spouse erodes trust.
I know some of you will say, “He/She never agrees.” Sometimes this is the result of us being too pushy, or even ending the discussion by just doing what we want anyway. Again, eroded trust. I’d suggest you sit down with your significant other, and make a list, similar to what I suggested under my first point. (This will also help you keep stupid stuff off the list, if your spouse is any good at asking questions.) Have a conversation. Set some goals. Stick to your word. This is how trust is built.
Some couples budget money for a particular category of “awesome” they regularly invest in. I think you should have a safety/firearms budget. For some of you, that may provide a revenue stream to help you meet your goals. Other couples have budgeted each partner a certain monthly or weekly “allowance” of casual spending money. With a little creativity, you may be able to come up with a plan that puts your awesome acquisition in reach, as long as you have the patience to save for it, and the focus not to get sidetracked by impulse buys.
Whether we are buying gear, or anything else, we need to keep the important things, the important things. We are all too prone to rationalization; that’s why we need honest friends and better halves who can tell us when we need to get our priorities back in order and control our credit-card grabbing reflexes.